unable to articulate - the plague that has taken me

As anyone who has dared to read my now deleted previous blogs, you might know that I struggle with a few different mental...erm issues. Up until recently, writing had been a major (but thankfully not only) tool in dealing with them. I am pained to say that even that is now being slowly taken from me.
.. wow that sounded dramatic. Heh.
Well, I shall do my best to explain with clarity .. or at least, with as few and precise words as possible.. right now I don't know if I will be able to find all of the words that I need to actually explain this. You see, writing that previous paragraph (yep, that ^^^) was so much more difficult than it should have been. Even now, I am slowly sloooowly typing. It isn't that I have forgotten the letters on my keyboard, but rather I can't actually think of the words for a moment or two. You know how you can recite the alphabet by heart? Or, count forever and ever without thinking? Righty tighty lefty loosy? Things that seemed to have been etched into our subconscious to the point that we can recall them in an instant. Well for the several weeks, that sort of stuff has been shrouded. When I try to recall simple things, words, memories, etc, it is like I am trying to get past layers of fog, sometimes only one, other times it seems like I have lost the things which I seek and may never find them on my own. I used to be able to sit in a coffee shop, and type and type and type. Writing would just flow like air from the tips of my fingers, though admittedly I never really know if it is any good. Now I can't even do that. A big reason for this, or at least, something that seems to securely connected, is my sudden drastic increase of migraines. I only recently started having them about six months ago or so, but over the past three or four weeks, they have multiplied to the point of my having them for about 70-95% of the day. The symptoms vary from basic foggy memory and inability to form a proper sentence, to extreme pain that covers all over my head inside and out and that sends me into a cowering ball, to weakness of muscles along with inability to see due to white spots almost completely obstructing my vision. I'm hoping and praying that when I see the neurologist that he/she will be able to help me decrease and (please please please) eliminate them. If this ends up being a chronic unending mess, well, I'm going to just have to figure it out. It's either that or die hah. Let's pray I don't even consider the latter.

Welcome to Narnia

Ello Poppet! I would just like to welcome you to my blog and page! You may find that there are a few *ahem* geeky reference here and there, but what can I say? I will forever be a nerd. Always.

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Have a happy unbirthday, and may the Force be with you.

F.E. Bloem